Shark Month : The Cold Truth
Most people thing that the Titanic was sunk by a big ass iceberg. They
would be right, except that a shark put it there.
Hey joker, all content on this page is
Copyright 2009-2010, Brent
Anderson, except for stuff I didn't
make, that belongs to their respective
Jangles Bo Bangles was the biggest, strongest whale
shark around, he was also the nicest, and the most
picked on. The other non-whale sharks, or shark
sharks, constantly tease him about his lack of
aggression and flesh rending teeth.
"No bite Bangles!"
"You suck, literally and figuratively."
"All he can eat is little fishes, I bet he can't even sink a
little one man boat"
After countless years of verbal abuse, Jangles had
heard enough. "I can sink a boat, I can sink a ship! I'm
the biggest and strongest shark around!"
"I'd like to see you try, no bite!"
"Are you going to suck it under the waves?"
"You couldn't sink my mom."
"I'm dead serious you little jerks, you pick any ship and
I'll sink it."
"Any ship? How about that big 'sumbitch over there."
It was the Titanic. Jangles agreed hastily before giving
it thought. "Fine then, I'll do it!"
"Hahahahaaaaa, this is gonna be great!"
Jangles inspected the ship, it was huge, too big for him to sink on his
own. He looked around frantically, if he didn't find a way to do this, his
children's children would be subjected to the same denigrating jibes that
he has endured, but ten times worse. After finishing that thought, he
spied icebergs in the distance.
"Well no bite, what's the hold up?"
"Hey, where's he going?"
"I knew he was useless."
Jangles found a right big iceberg and began to push
with all his might.
"NNNNnnngg, hey, this is working!"
He and the icy chunk picked up speed, and he began
directing it toward the massive target.
"Wow, that's a pretty big chunk of ice."
"Hey what's he doing with that thing?"
The iceberg crashed into the vessel, it's hull giving
way to the hardened ice! "Success!"
"Oh oh, I get it now."
All the sharks watched as the massive ship slowly sank into the ocean.
"Hey, hey look at all that food!"
Jangles sat by and watched his handy work, waiting for his detractors
to have their fill. They never made fun of him from that day on, and
was forever known as The Iceburg, a stone cold killer by any shark
standards, he was cool in their book. Jangles still secretly held a
grudge, but held it in, because he was nice, and those other sharks
What a great shark, even though he eats little fish and has no flesh
rending teeth. Oh, right, Titanic, no, he's just fine. Come back
Wednesday for more half assed story telling, maybe.